loneliness

There is this man that comes into the resturant every night. He has his martini, then his glass of red wine and then he orders his burnt rare sirlion with either brocoli or asparagas. Then I worked the other morning as a waitress and found out that he sits in his spot at the bar and orders his lunch. He is a bitter man, but I can get him to warm up when I bartend or waitress. He seems like a good man, just very lonely! I wonder will I end up like that, just going out to a resturant every night just to have some conversation with anyone. Or will I end up being that crazy cat woman. It is really hard to be a single mom. Don't get me wrong, I love Gunnar more than anything! But sometimes I feel like I need some adult conversation. Out here people are different. I have tons of offers to be somebodies bed buddy, but none to even just go out on a date. But the other night I bartended, and the group that comes in every friday came in and they actually asked me to go to the local bar with them. It was a change! But I had to go pick Gunnar up and my exhusband is always there so I said no. Maybe I am doomed to be alone the rest of my life, who knows. But hopefully Gunnar will always love me and will keep me from being too lonely!