When I look in the mirror...

It's funny, I have been beaten down by life for the bast four years. And I was thinking tonight. I am feeling good about my situation! I have my son, who loves me even when sometimes I don't feel like he does. I get my time with him. And I am in okay shape, to most people I am skinny and have the perfect body, but that isn't what I mean. I work out when I can to make myself feel better. I am single, but I do have men who like me. I have a house of my very own and I can pay all of my bills without flinching like when I was married. I am, I think, my prettiest. I just got my moles on my face removed. Not my Marilyn, but the two honkers that most kids like to point out are now gone! I look in the mirror and feel good. I am doing my best and God has made it work!! And I am so thankful for everything! Thank you Mama Kat for giving me the prompt!!!

What are you feeling guilty about?

I am guilty because I asked a friend(really a guy that has liked me since I had moved here), to babysit my son and he agreed and then confronted me about liking me. I asked him why he had never called. That I really had liked him and was alittle bummed when he hadn't called. And we started to talk for a few days and made it seem like the relationship he was in wasn't going anywhere. So I got my hopes up thinking if he was going to dump her then maybe he would want me. Yeah that didn't happen. He came over(as a friend thing, I am not some kind of hussy!) And he tried to get in my pants(he didn't!). And I asked him what he was doing and if he really wanted me. And he said that he loved her and that his boys love her and that he had invested way to much time in her. I feel guilty because I did it to my heart again. Men out here like to try to f@ck and chuck me and I don't get it!!!! I hate men!

Imagination is a Great thing!

So, I am sitting here eating a fresh tomato with salt and wanting to be whiny!! (pouty face!) So, I thought I would give my imagination some exercise!!HEHE The perfect man, what is that? I had to think about it so I came up with some things that he should be and act like!!

1. He will adore me, as I him.(not act embarrassed by me, ok so I am alittle dorky)

2. He will want to be around me.(From my last blog I am an attention craving poodle!)

3. He will act like a grown up(partying in fun but not every night, mama needs her beauty sleep)

4. Likes to go out and do things, but is just as comfortable sitting at home watching a movie.(I can't think of a smarta$$ comment for this one!)

5. He won't ignore me!(attention craving poodle!)

6. But at the same time he won't smother me!(attention good, obsession bad)

7. He has to love kids, even my spoiled little boy!(hehe)

8. He has to be responsible (bills paid, priorities, dumb grown up stuff we all have to do).

9. He has to love to have fun.(no bumps on a log!)

10. And last but not least, he must like to be goofy and laugh (remember I'm a dork)!

Now I really don't think that all this is unreasonable! And I am sure I could come up with at least a hundred more things, but that is off the top of my head! And if you know any one who fits this profile be sure to send him my way!LOL

Friendly Advice

So.... Calling a woman you like at least once a day, going and visiting her, are good things!! When you stop that is BAD!! And the men here wonder why women are so unattracted to them. They are sweet as hell, but it is like they have A.D.D. or something. One minute they are like I love you and the next they are paying attention to the new shiny truck that pulled up. So, my advice is to say pay attention. Every woman has alittle poodle that craves attention!(Hi Mama Kat) Try to at least include her even if she can't do it!!

Hard Worker!

So, This is like it is new again!! I have been working so much it is hard to find time for anything. I have remodeled my bedroom and it is gorgeous!! It isn't totally finished but ooh lala!! Work has been a disaster!! My boss is what she likes to call an absentee boss. It is one of the greatest things, but the past three weeks she has been working. And monday was the worst! She decided to get in my face and yell at me. And when I say in my face, I mean her forehead was on mine! I didn't think I deserved this! I wasn't talking back or not listening to her, so I don't know how she thought I needed this. But the next day LeAnn decided that she needed to talk to me (she is a co-manager) and she said that she has a lot on her plate(I gave her a bad hand gesture the resturaunt is really making me a little vulgar) and that she is just coming off alittle more stern. So I decided to tell her what really happened and she said that she is just harder on the ones that have more potential. In my opinion if you want someone to work harder for you then you don't demean them!! But on a good note, I get to work mornings in the kitchen!! I will get my evening with Gunnar when I don't have to work the bar!! Yay!! Another thing I am doing is new siding on my house!!! My house will no longer be known as the little pink house!!! I hate pink on a house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's is hard to emphasis so maybe the exlamation points helped!hehe!

I didn't disappear!!

Hi everyone! I didn't just fall off the face of the Earth. I have had a hard time the last few weeks, but hopefully I can get in the swing of things again. I don't know why but I have had a hard time with my daughters fourth birthday. Or I guess I should put it as she would have been four. Last year I didn't have that hard of a time with it. I sent a prayer up and ask if God would give her and kiss and hug for me and that was it. This year the tears have been flowing even when I didn't realize I was thinking of her.

But on a happy note, I will get even more time with my little man!! I am starting to work mornings like a normal adult!! I can't wait for nights with my little weezer!!

Do I make you hot?

It's amazing how life changes. How things that rolled off your back, now stick and haunt you. How petty things really are in the big picture. Men come and go, bosses like you one minute and hate you the next, andlittle boys who never fuss now never stop. Makes you think why are we really here? Why do we need these lessons that sometimes break and shatter hearts. And then really finding out that we really do have the strength to keep moving even when we are just on our hands and knees. But I guess if everything was perfect we wouldn't know of hope!

On a funny note, I am now considered a tease! Yup! Little ol', zit faced, clutz, ditzy me! How I do not know! And the person who thinks it is my boss! LOL!!! I asked her how I was teasing(because it pisses her off!) one of the cooks so I could prevent it and she stumbled for a minute and then said "You let him call you hun!" that shocked me! So, I responded back to her that everyone calls me hun, even her! Then she said that she does it because I am so "damsal in distress"! And then she had the nerve to say that I needed to stop acting like that and grow up!

Ok! So, I didn't do this, but I wanted to fall to the ground, but the back of my hand to my forehead and scream "Please someone help! I have fallen and can't get up!" LOL!!!