A good cook is not necessarily a good woman with an even temper. some allowance should be made for artistic temperament.

Insecurities!

I know I have taken way to much time to write a new blog! I have missed it alot!! I have been really busy with work and just haven't found the time to sit here and write on my site! But I have met someone! He seems absolutely perfect! He is constantly doing something, busy busy busy. I like that! With Gunnar I had to change my ways and make routines and Kelly seems to have that and still keep busy! I like our friendship alot and maybe someday it could go further. But my insecurities are probably sticking out like a sore thumb! Men have not been the nicest people to me up here and it makes me want to hold everyone at arms length. But there is something kind about Kelly's eyes that makes me want to think we could have a really good friendship!!

I am so tired, but i cant sleep!

I hate Men!!

I don't understand them!! Maybe my five year absence from the dating scene has something to do with it, but it has changed! But I think the men here in wyoming are alittle off also!! I think they settle and then they like to scew around!! I have known Chris since I moved up here and he SEEMED like a nice guy! We were friends that would talk when I would go to the hardware store(he is a manager there). He always offered to help me out with my son since he had two boys of his own. Well, recently I took him up on that offer while my mom was visiting family. He told me things weren't going so hot with his girlfriend. He left it at that. So we continued to text and talk on the phone. Then he said that he needed to talk to me face to face and I said ok. Alittle confused! I didn't realize I was enjoying having someone to talk to. I find myself settling on less attractive guys, but he had a decent face and he was nice company! Then he tried to get in my pants and I asked him well have you dumped the girlfriend and he said no that he really loved her and he loved me(yeah I know way creepy). Well I got pissed off!! And I refused to talk to him for awhile. And then he said that he was really sorry and still wanted to be friends, so I was like ok. Well...I have been having the hardest time sleeping because a little boy has learned that he can climb out of his crib! I have tried everything except rope to strap him in!! So he has his child development degree so I texted him to ask if there was something I was doing wrong. I wasn't I just have a very stubborn kid!! But we kind of talked all day and then he started to tell me how sexy I was and I asked him if things were going wrong with the g/f? He said no that his sinful nature was getting to him and he couldn't not tell me. And then the bombshell..........He got married to her really quickly!! WTF!!! Why would you marry someone if you act like that?!?!? Not that I would have anything to do with him after the first thing!! I have way to much pride to be pick second!!!

This award was given to me by a wonderful writer and bloggy friend(and she is my mom) at http://gammasharon.blogspot.com/

She is wonderful and she loves to leave comments!!

"This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to six more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award." I'm going to give this award to:

1. Allyson @ http://mommyofmarshall.blogspot.com/

2. Mama Kat @ http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/

3. Miss Candy @ http://candymgraham.blogspot.com/

4.Mimi @ http://screamingmimitoo.blogspot.com/

5. Suki @ http://sunnyme.wordpress.com/

6. Clare @ http://thelilacgrove.blogspot.com/

The Punisher!!

So here I am writing from a prompt from Mama Kats' blog!! She asks what is the most creative punishment you have ever envorced! Ha! I got one!! I had to be very creative in the ways I punished my step daughter, because my ex husband thought I was to hard on her and this one time he got really upset but he liked the result!!

When we got married Maddie's grandparents said that David could get her on the weekends. I thought awesome! Well...about a few months later I found myself pregnant and every weekend ended up either on the floor or on the couch because Maddie didn't want to sleep in her own bed. So I tried to get her to at least sleep on the floor with an air mattress and still no success. So, I always listened to talk radio on my way to and from work (old car and that was the only station that came in) and I got an idea. So, that weekend we got Maddie and David decided that they needed to go swimming so I said fine with an evil little grin on my face!! They left...I took all of her stuff out of her room and put it in boxes!! When they got back they both asked why all of her stuff was out of her room and I replied, "That is now my room! If you want to sleep in our bed I am going to have to have your room. You are not allowed in my room and you and Daddy will sleep in your guys room tonight!" I was as nice as possible!! But I was pregnant and she kicked very badly!!! Well, she said fine and then started to play. I started to make dinner later that day when I was interrupted by a crying little girl who said that she would never ever sleep in our bed again!! And she never did! I was suprised that it had worked out so well!!!

My New Flip!!

Little Ear aches and cameras!

So, I haven't slept in three days. Usually I am just an insomniac, but lately I have felt like I could sleep except my little man has been so fussy, sick and doesn't want to sleep a wink. So, I have been letting him sleep with me. Thinking maybe it would comfort him enough for the both of us to get some sleep. He sleeps just fine in my bed, but I don't!! I start to doze off and then there is a fist in my eye or a foot in my rib! So, after all of this I took him to the doctors and she tells us that he has an ear infection. My poor little man!! But one thing I splurged on this week is a new video camera! Maybe its just the sleep deporvation, but I had to have it so I splurged!! I saw that Mama Kat is having a give away and it is the new flip camera! Well, I never win anything so I thought I had to have one!!

Busy, busy, busy!

I have had a very busy two weeks!! I took a week off of work so I could go up hunting with my Dad! And for those of you that are offended I like my time with my dad and since I am a single mom it helps with food costs for me!

It looks like he is trying to help me out but he has this fascination with buckles!!

Got up to camp and all the guys were arguing about how to set everything up so I thought I would get a pic of that gorgeous land and me(with out make up that is very rare!).

Perfect location for the tent!

I got my deer and it had the bigest body out of the bunch! More meat in my freezer!!!

Then my mom's family all came out and they thought I needed a day off so I had a friend watch

Gunnar and they made me a bottom of the barrel bar maid!

Gunnar and Betty!

Creepy!

Snow and Shingles!

Fun!

When I look in the mirror...

It's funny, I have been beaten down by life for the bast four years. And I was thinking tonight. I am feeling good about my situation! I have my son, who loves me even when sometimes I don't feel like he does. I get my time with him. And I am in okay shape, to most people I am skinny and have the perfect body, but that isn't what I mean. I work out when I can to make myself feel better. I am single, but I do have men who like me. I have a house of my very own and I can pay all of my bills without flinching like when I was married. I am, I think, my prettiest. I just got my moles on my face removed. Not my Marilyn, but the two honkers that most kids like to point out are now gone! I look in the mirror and feel good. I am doing my best and God has made it work!! And I am so thankful for everything! Thank you Mama Kat for giving me the prompt!!!

What are you feeling guilty about?

I am guilty because I asked a friend(really a guy that has liked me since I had moved here), to babysit my son and he agreed and then confronted me about liking me. I asked him why he had never called. That I really had liked him and was alittle bummed when he hadn't called. And we started to talk for a few days and made it seem like the relationship he was in wasn't going anywhere. So I got my hopes up thinking if he was going to dump her then maybe he would want me. Yeah that didn't happen. He came over(as a friend thing, I am not some kind of hussy!) And he tried to get in my pants(he didn't!). And I asked him what he was doing and if he really wanted me. And he said that he loved her and that his boys love her and that he had invested way to much time in her. I feel guilty because I did it to my heart again. Men out here like to try to f@ck and chuck me and I don't get it!!!! I hate men!

Imagination is a Great thing!

So, I am sitting here eating a fresh tomato with salt and wanting to be whiny!! (pouty face!) So, I thought I would give my imagination some exercise!!HEHE The perfect man, what is that? I had to think about it so I came up with some things that he should be and act like!!

1. He will adore me, as I him.(not act embarrassed by me, ok so I am alittle dorky)

2. He will want to be around me.(From my last blog I am an attention craving poodle!)

3. He will act like a grown up(partying in fun but not every night, mama needs her beauty sleep)

4. Likes to go out and do things, but is just as comfortable sitting at home watching a movie.(I can't think of a smarta$$ comment for this one!)

5. He won't ignore me!(attention craving poodle!)

6. But at the same time he won't smother me!(attention good, obsession bad)

7. He has to love kids, even my spoiled little boy!(hehe)

8. He has to be responsible (bills paid, priorities, dumb grown up stuff we all have to do).

9. He has to love to have fun.(no bumps on a log!)

10. And last but not least, he must like to be goofy and laugh (remember I'm a dork)!

Now I really don't think that all this is unreasonable! And I am sure I could come up with at least a hundred more things, but that is off the top of my head! And if you know any one who fits this profile be sure to send him my way!LOL

Friendly Advice

So.... Calling a woman you like at least once a day, going and visiting her, are good things!! When you stop that is BAD!! And the men here wonder why women are so unattracted to them. They are sweet as hell, but it is like they have A.D.D. or something. One minute they are like I love you and the next they are paying attention to the new shiny truck that pulled up. So, my advice is to say pay attention. Every woman has alittle poodle that craves attention!(Hi Mama Kat) Try to at least include her even if she can't do it!!

Hard Worker!

So, This is like it is new again!! I have been working so much it is hard to find time for anything. I have remodeled my bedroom and it is gorgeous!! It isn't totally finished but ooh lala!! Work has been a disaster!! My boss is what she likes to call an absentee boss. It is one of the greatest things, but the past three weeks she has been working. And monday was the worst! She decided to get in my face and yell at me. And when I say in my face, I mean her forehead was on mine! I didn't think I deserved this! I wasn't talking back or not listening to her, so I don't know how she thought I needed this. But the next day LeAnn decided that she needed to talk to me (she is a co-manager) and she said that she has a lot on her plate(I gave her a bad hand gesture the resturaunt is really making me a little vulgar) and that she is just coming off alittle more stern. So I decided to tell her what really happened and she said that she is just harder on the ones that have more potential. In my opinion if you want someone to work harder for you then you don't demean them!! But on a good note, I get to work mornings in the kitchen!! I will get my evening with Gunnar when I don't have to work the bar!! Yay!! Another thing I am doing is new siding on my house!!! My house will no longer be known as the little pink house!!! I hate pink on a house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's is hard to emphasis so maybe the exlamation points helped!hehe!

I didn't disappear!!

Hi everyone! I didn't just fall off the face of the Earth. I have had a hard time the last few weeks, but hopefully I can get in the swing of things again. I don't know why but I have had a hard time with my daughters fourth birthday. Or I guess I should put it as she would have been four. Last year I didn't have that hard of a time with it. I sent a prayer up and ask if God would give her and kiss and hug for me and that was it. This year the tears have been flowing even when I didn't realize I was thinking of her.

But on a happy note, I will get even more time with my little man!! I am starting to work mornings like a normal adult!! I can't wait for nights with my little weezer!!

Do I make you hot?

It's amazing how life changes. How things that rolled off your back, now stick and haunt you. How petty things really are in the big picture. Men come and go, bosses like you one minute and hate you the next, andlittle boys who never fuss now never stop. Makes you think why are we really here? Why do we need these lessons that sometimes break and shatter hearts. And then really finding out that we really do have the strength to keep moving even when we are just on our hands and knees. But I guess if everything was perfect we wouldn't know of hope!

On a funny note, I am now considered a tease! Yup! Little ol', zit faced, clutz, ditzy me! How I do not know! And the person who thinks it is my boss! LOL!!! I asked her how I was teasing(because it pisses her off!) one of the cooks so I could prevent it and she stumbled for a minute and then said "You let him call you hun!" that shocked me! So, I responded back to her that everyone calls me hun, even her! Then she said that she does it because I am so "damsal in distress"! And then she had the nerve to say that I needed to stop acting like that and grow up!

Ok! So, I didn't do this, but I wanted to fall to the ground, but the back of my hand to my forehead and scream "Please someone help! I have fallen and can't get up!" LOL!!!

Yard!

Ok, so working nights and waking up early with a little boy is really hard. I haven't really had a chance to get out and work on my yard. But my Mom said that she would help me as part of my birthday gift. Yeah! Since I have to go get ready for work here are some pics for you!

Little Boys!

Gunnar tries my patience every chance he gets, but I had thursday, friday, and saturday off. So, thursday I did the grown up stuff like cleaning and laundry (ugh!!). Then Jamey had us come down and go to dinner and then the next day to the crazy days(lots of sales!) and then we went up to see his son and parents up at their cabin. I thought cabin, Gunnar will love it! But the kids were much older and they like to play on the quads and he loves them but is just to young to just play on them. He kept trying to follow them around and they wanted nothing to do with him(my poor baby) and Jameys son Kaden is alittle jealous of us when it comes to his Daddy! So, there was a fight with the quads, then he wouldn't leave the doors alone, then the kids, and then....(dun dun dun) the fire pit! Scary!!! I had to keep an eagle eye on him at all times because he wouldn't leave it alone! And then he is getting teeth, so everything Mommy says means do the exact opposite! By the end of the trip I was surprised to have hair! I need to get him out to do things like that more often, but I blame the horrible little attitude on the teeth! So, hopefully next time he will be much better!!

Birthdays!

The 12th of this month was my birthday. And I was really having a hard time with it. I was supose to have it all figured out and be an adult by then. And when I say adult that sounds stupid coming from a 25 year old, but I mean a grown up job(not as a bartender) and a husband and maybe one on the way. The partying stopped a few years ago, but there is a part of me that still wants to alittle, the day after is what I hate! But everyone knew how I was having a hard time with it so they all tried to do something special for it. Jamey came over with his son and we had an early dinner with my parents(yummy ribs!!!). And then I had to go to work and they found out about it and suprised me with an indian fried bread with whipped cream and candles and sang me happy birthday. Also, I was head cook. It was my kitchen for the very first time! The other cook is still learning the head cook position and he has been doing it for a year, doing it every night. I have been learning once a week for a month. I had it down!! I know I'm awesome! LOL J/K. Then the guys in the kitchen let me go early and they closed my end down. Then Jamey suprised me and came back and bought me way to much to drink. The best present I got was Jamey and I walked to my house and he told me he loved me! He makes me melt everytime I'm around him!!

Happy Late 4th of July!

Oh I just love the 4th of July!! It is one of my favorite holidays! Warm weather, family, good food, and most of all fireworks! I decided to have my favorite holiday for myself and Gunnar spent it with my parents. I wanted to cry the whole time because I had left him instead of taking him and teaching him some history about our country! But I survived, and I did have a blast with my new honey, Jamey! I got off work on friday and drove down to his house and tried to surprise him on getting there alittle early. He caught me in my little plan, but he was suprised! So, we stayed up until 4am and then got up around 6am. We first headed up to the parade he was in. He carried a gun for the american legion(he is a veteran). And then after the parade we went to his friends wedding. Then drove back and went to the reception. Then we went to a fireworks show. The guy does it from his home and has it sponsored and he started it mainly for the Veterans. Had a big show and dedicated things to the men and women in military. I was so proud to be there with Jamey. He is a hero, not just to me but should be to everyone in America! And I feel every soldier should be considered that!!! For someone doing it out of their backyard it was an awesome show.
Thank You to everyone in the Military!!
Love, Laugh, and Drink Up!
Candace

Wasting Time Wednesday!

So, I woke up on Friday and had a sore throat and runny nose but I just put it off on allergies. I woke up on Saturday(first day back from a four day mini vacation, that I just spent at home) and I was sicker than a dog!! I think I running fevers and I had the aches and it took all I had not to just puke all day long! But I suck it up thinking I would be able to kick it really quick like I usually do. The next day, I go into work at 9am and I just feel the same and the boss says I can be on call. So, I go up to my parents house and take a nap thinking once I got up I would feel much better, and I was wrong! I only felt worse, so I had to tend bar again and my mom said that she would take care of Gunnar and I could just go home and get some rest since I had to be at work at nine again. I woke up on monday morning with out a voice and I am sitting here thinking I am trying to do everything right by my health and I just keep getting worse! But by the end of the day I could at least be some what audible. My mom again said that she would take care of Gunnar and I was so thankful. by that time the if I didn't have the advil and alcaseltzer in me I thought I was just going to die from the pain of the aches and then it felt like my head was going to explode from all the pressure of the fevers. And then yesturday morning I woke up and was going to just get ready for work(which wasn't until 4pm that evening) and just go over to my parents house and rest and try and play and visit with my son who hadn't really seen me in a few days, but my mom told me to just go back to bed that I needed to rest! So I did and I slept and then finished getting ready for work and then ran up to my parents and saw Gunnar for a few minutes before work. I Made it through the night with alot of prayers and then went and picked my son up from my parents house. I was feeling good that he was just in his own bed!! I missed him so much!! And now I am sitting here, feeling much better, writing this at 6:30am because I can't sleep due to all the coughing! But at least I am feeling better!!!

Frosted Mug Friday!!

So, today I would like to start out by paying some respect for those who have passed on. But to continue on...This week I had to go into work to cook. By 4pm the waitress that was on was wondering why the bartender was not there yet. So I went to look at the schedule and no one was scheduled. So I call the manager and she says that the other bartender was suppose to be scheduled and that the boss didn't mark it down. Well the other bartender is extremely hard to get a hold of and we couldn't get a hold of her. The manager was (in my opinion) suppose to come in and cover the shift since I was cooking. She decided to say no and then tell me that I had to do it and the other two cooks(who aren't very experienced) that they could handle it and that I could run back and forth if they needed me. So I got angry but I was nice and said fine! So, everything started out really good. The cooks handled it and I sold a feature drink (mojito) and then the rush comes in and everything is ok, getting a little stressed but the cooks still haven't asked me to go back and help. So, this table of 15 comes in and in the middle of getting all of them drinks the cooks ask for my help. So I finished with their drinks and run back there(just to let you know I just started to learn to be head cook and it was suppose to be my kitchen that night) So I jump right in and so does Johnny the waiter who like to help us cook sometimes. Then they need some drinks and they need them ran to the tables. So I told Johnny exactly what to do and get the drinks and it ended up being quite a bit more than was told but that was ok. So I go back to the kitchen and jump right back in again. Then they need drinks again! So I told melissa to get the manager on the phone I can't do everything. So I get the drinks and then the phone was handed to me and she tells me she wont come in and that I should be able to handle it. So I say fine and hang up. Then Matt finishes with cutting the steaks and I can bartend.(most of the drama is done now) So I go out there and this guy comes up and he seems like a sweet guy. He likes mixed drinks and I was pulling them out for him to try(he only tried 4 total the whole night). But with that table there it was a mad house. I would start at one end of the table and get to the end and the start again! But they ended up sending some steaks back because they were well done and they asked for medium rare and I looked at the steaks and they were well done(yuk!) and then they get them back and they are the same way. I was embarrassed by the whole thing and then I just felt bad. We ended up giving away 6 steaks that night, just because of some people being incompetent! But the sweet guy was 63 years old and ended up telling me about himself and that my son and I could go visit him in kentucky and that he would take good care of us and treat me like a queen. He said that Gunnar could have a horse and he went on and on. He didn't really come across as the creepy ones that usually do that so I took his number(I felt bad just flat out dening him) and he gave me a big huge tip and seemed so happy that I was going to call him. Of course I didn't, he really could of been some crazy person and I am not that dumb! But he made me laugh with one of the things he said! He told me,"I'm 63, I have one foot on the banana pill. If you want to be with me you won't have to be with me that long since I am old and you can have all of my money once I kick it." Isn't that sad, but funny at the same time. And that was my thrilling bar story for the week!

Boys and their Jewels!

Ok, so I was givin this box to put my thoughts and prayers in when I lost my little girl and I never really used it, but I thought it would be a good thing to help me think of things to write about. So, one of my thought was of my darling little boy! He has this obsession with his jewels! I am a girl and I don't get it! I found out that guys start out with this obsession, it is gained by the knowledge of certain things. If his diaper is off his hand is down there. And sometimes he really has a hold of it in a painful way. I have to tell him to stop. When my mom takes care of him she asks him if he is done yet so she can put the diaper back on. I don't get it and I don't think I want to. But that is not the reason for this post. Ok, so he is a normal boy with this horrible obsession, but now he has started when I change his diaper, he waits until he is clean and then raises up his hand above his head and then slams it down on his...jewels. And then he laughs, mainly because mommy is making a wierd face at him, because that has to hurt!! I have asked some people and they say their boys did the same thing, but it makes you wonder is my kid normal?

Yummy Yummy!!!

So, I moved to wyoming from Ca. Yeah I know what a change, but I think I like it sometimes! But I miss fast food. Probably a good thing that there isn't any up here, because I would weigh 200 lbs. But tonight I decided to try and duplicate a burrito from El Pollo Loco!! But I think it tasted just as good if not better! It is a twice grilled burrito(or at least I think that is what it was called) Here is my recipe if you would like it!

3 Boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Your choice of taco mix

Rice pilaf(you can buy instant wild rice with brown rice in Uncle bens in your grocery store)

your favorite salsa

First I boiled the chicken so it would shred with the all of my seasonings and with some of the salsa. While I did that I had the rice cooking. Once both were done I mixed them together, then tasted and add more seasonings to taste. Then I warmed up the tortillas in the microwave and then filled them with salsa, meat mixture and then some cheese. Then I rolled them up all fancy like holding them together with toothpicks. Then I got a pan heated up with alittle extra virgin olive oil and butter. I then placed them tooth pick side down first and once golden brown flipped them over. And if some thing doesn't sound right here are some pics to help. Yum Yum!